Archives for the month of: September, 2013

I’ve been seeing a lot of articles and videos (four today!) about the “millenials” that basically justify why my generation is so…useless? Lost? Burdensome?  *This post is more spur of the moment than anything else, so I warn you in advance this may not be my best Lesson.* Basically, we aren’t to blame.  The baby boomers left us in a position that makes it impossible to grow into successful adults.  I mean, they caused the recession.  They depleted our earth’s resources.  They increased the cost of a college education exponentially.  They gave us rewards for simply existing consequently eradicating our need for competition.  They they they they they!

Lady Lessson #20: Shut Up and Take Responsibility for Yourself!

Millenials: Stop passing the buck.  That is one of the biggest problems with my generation is that we don’t take responsibility for our actions and we don’t really look at ourselves.  We are so quick to blame others for our problems.  Think about any arguments you’ve had recently.  How often do you speak in terms of “I did this” vs “you did this to me” or “they caused it”? I am guilty as hell of this.  But I’ve suffered the consequences of this behavior and what it ultimately lead to was a deluded sense of righteousness and entitlement.  I’ve spent a majority of my life getting myself off the hook instead of learning from my mistakes and now, look where I am.  I’m 24, broke and confused as all get out.

I am a millenial.  I put myself in the position that I am in.  Yes, the economy sucks, a big fat sloppy one, but it’s my own fault for eating out 3 meals a day, or spending all of my tips on scarves or alcohol, or being too caught up scrolling through my newsfeed to leave early enough to find free parking.  Yes, the unemployment rate is sky high, but it’s my fault I was too uppity to apply to certain jobs.  Here’s the thing, when I reached my breaking point, I got hired at two different restaurants in the same week.  I needed money, I needed a job and when I worked for it, I got it.  It’s not my dream job, it’s not my career, but you know what?  I, like many other millenials, chose a career that lends itself to homelessness (actor in LA! What what!) unless you get to the top.  I’m not there, but I still have to pay rent.  Newsflash, I’m not above having a serving job or two to get it done.

Now, I have an appreciation for my employment because every shift I work is another step away from being a financial burden on my family.  Believe me, I thought I was above it before, I was uppity, let’s be honest, but I’ve been humbled and it’s time to work.  Millenials, it is time to work.  Start somewhere.  Not being able to find your dream job is not a free pass to fuck around with social media on your expensive electronics.

Life doesn’t seem very uplifting or encouraging right now, I get that.  I’ve spent the better part of my 20s secretly wishing I’d end up in a coma because the reality of the future looked so bleak.  I get it.  But I’m sick of making excuses for myself because it is only holding me back from the amazing life I have the potential to live.  And I’m sick of hearing us complaining.  And I’m sick of people justifying why we suck.  It’s like we’re being given another undeserved trophy for “Best Wasted Youth.”  Stop feeding into it!  We are so much better than we allow ourselves to be.

So shut up! And do something.

-Lady

Advertisements

Last night, I received a text from a friend who had a free ticket to the employee preview night at Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights.  He was working it so he couldn’t come with me, but another one of our friends was planning on coming, so I thought “awesome, I’ll have someone to go with and not be getting chased by clowns on my own.”  Well, it was time to leave and I had yet to hear from this friend.  Even though I had said yes, I started making up reasons not to go, just so I didn’t have to be alone.  Now, passing up a free trip to Universal Studios on a night where each ride had only a 10 minute wait? That’s dumb.  I decided to go, regardless of my potential solitude.

Lady Lesson #19: Say Yes and Mean It.

When I got to the park, my friend who was working got me free parking (ba-zing!).  He ran into another friend of his who worked it last year, but also had not heard from her friends who were supposed to be meeting her.  We had two hours to kill.  We didn’t know each other.  To make the best of a less than ideal situation, we had to become fast friends.  She and I ended up having a wonderful night.  Our mutual love of being scared by zombies transcended any awkwardness strangers might have.  

What would have happened if I had said yes, but ended up not going anyway?  Well, I don’t know.  But I guarantee you it would not have been nearly as fun as screaming my way through The Walking Dead prison.  It would not have made me laugh like the clown that tripped and fell when he tried to scare me.  It would not have gotten me a free chicken wrap and an ice cream sandwich!  Now, I’ve got a wonderful memory, made even better because I was out of my comfort zone and meeting new people.

Some of my favorite memories have been the times when I just said yes and actually followed through.  In college, I saw Yes, Man starring Jim Carrey.  We got out of the movie at like, 1 AM.  We were so amped up and motivated, we made a pact to just say yes for the rest of the night.  Wanna drive out to the “beach”? Yes!  Wanna play on this playground in the snow? Yes!  Wanna go to Waffle House???  YES!!!  So what if it was 430 AM before we got to sleep?  So what if I had to be up for dance class by 830? It was totally worth it for the amazing memory.

 ImageImage

Image

So say yes!  I mean, if it’s life threatening or you have a 90% chance of losing a limb, I think you can opt out.  But say yes to anything that sounds fun, like a new adventure.  Say yes to new opportunities.  Say yes to new friends.  Say yes and mean it.  Your word is more important than you can imagine.  Now go off and adventure!

-Jadey Lady

My first car was a 92 Honda Accord with 200,000 miles on it.  That’s a lot of wear and tear.  You’d think it’d be pretty dead, but it wasn’t.  It was in tip top shape, I mean as much as it could have been.  Then one afternoon, on my way home from school it just stopped working.  Called my mom, she didn’t know what to do.  Called my dad, he did that thing that people who understand cars do and discovered that there was no oil in the car.  Like zilch.  Nada.  “Bone dry” were the words he used.  We had a nice caravan on the way home.  I drove the minivan while mom pushed my Honda with the Jeep.  As dad steered my Honda all the way home, I could see the fury in his eyes.  He was angry, not at me as much as himself for forgetting to tell me cars needed more than gasoline to run.

Now, did you know you were supposed to pay attention to that sort of thing?  I didn’t!  I also didn’t know that a puddle of bright green fluid sitting next to your tires was your car’s way of saying “Don’t try to drive me home!  Call your parents now!”  I also didn’t know that you have to bring an automatic car to a complete stop before putting it in reverse or else your transmission will explode.  Boy howdy, I’ll never forget that moment.  I also didn’t know that you have to have the car in park before you turn it on.  I didn’t know that having your floor mat slip beneath your accelerator pedal will render your car’s top speed at an unbearable 50 mph.  I didn’t know that covering up the grill of a car with a sign reading “Jade 4 Homecoming Queen” would bust the radiator.  

Whoops.

Yes, I am automobile illiterate.  My mother calls me Car Kryptonite.  It’s a curse.  But in my adulthood, I’ve learned that it is a curse I can overcome if I allow myself to.

Lady Lesson #18:  Befriend Your Car

This is Sheldon:

ImageSheldon has been with me since 2009.  We’ve been through some stuff.  After a few months, he was in the shop for about a month because the clutch needed to be replaced and instead of replacing the whole thing, they fixed half of it, as if the older half wouldn’t break down shortly after.  Ha!  He got me through college.  He moved me across the country.  He took me and dad to the Grand Canyon!

Image
 He’s put up with Los Angeles traffic and hoodlums (parked somewhere for 10 minutes, came out, the car next to me was gone and my passenger side mirror was hanging off its wires.  It lives in my trunk right now).  He’s a great car.  Loyal.  Persistent.  Always ready to go, even if the gas has been on E for two days, or he’s been due for an oil change for a month.  I love him, even though I’m a terrible car mom.

Well, he’s been making a rattling noise for a while now.  Like someone’s shaking maracas in my engine.  I finally took him in today.  I had gotten the estimate before my trip, but didn’t take him in until now.  Stupid.  What I’ve learned since I got back is
1) I hate driving around (or not going somewhere) worrying whether this is the day he gives up on me
2) I hate being the chick on the road with the ratty car.  He’s dirty, missing a mirror and waking people up at night.  He’s officially a hoopty.
3) I hate being a bad mom.  For a car that has been through so much, yet still gets me where I need to go without fail, he deserves better.

When I dropped him off at the shop today, I felt really good.  I didn’t mind that this transmission rebuild is going to cost about $1,200 I absolutely don’t have (Thank you mom!).  I rest easy knowing I will have a working vehicle by Friday afternoon.  I’m gonna get that mirror replaced.  I’m gonna get him washed.  Somewhere where they do it by hand and vacuum out the interior.  I don’t have the handyman around anymore.  It’s my responsibility to take care of my car, and now that I see just how much I value my Sheldon, I will take care of him.  No more empty tanks.  No more overdue oil changes.  No more waiting to take him in when I have no clue what’s wrong.  I’ve learned from my many mistakes.

So befriend your car!  Keep it clean.  Pay attention to the ticks and rattles.  If your car sounds like a mariachi band in a haunted house, turning up the music to drown it out won’t help you.  Fact.  Be nice to it, it will be nice to you.  

Also, Parents!  Mine is a cautionary tale.  If you are a parent, please teach your kids about car maintenance.  Basic maintenance.  Like “hey, you need to have oil in your car or else the engine will seize up and die” or “I know this maneuverability test sucks, please don’t get mad and flip the car into reverse without stopping lest you blow the transmission to smithereens!”  You know, the little things. 

Happy driving!

-Jadey Lady

 

When I am in the zone, I am an unstoppable machine!  I’m like The Bride in Kill Bill and the tasks on my to do list are The Crazy 88.  Image
We all know how satisfying that epic fight sequence is to watch.  I get that same satisfaction when I accomplish lots of things.  

When I am not in the zone, I am an unmovable force of laziness.  

Image
No matter how hard I think “I should be doing something other than watching Orange is the New Black until I reach the end of the season,” I end up doing just that.  What’s worse, I pretend that finishing up this season is the end of my laziness, like they didn’t just upload a a new season of Portlandia.  Secret: It NEVER ends.

Lady Lesson #17: An object in motion will stay in motion, an object at rest will choose Netflix over productivity.

Now this lesson is much more universal than its title implies.  What I’m learning is I will do whatever I am accustomed to doing until I consciously make the effort to change my habit.  If I’m in the habit of waking up at 630AM, stretching, making some tea, reading a bit and having a blog posted by 8AM, I will do that every morning, no problem.  If I’m accustomed to being super tired all day and not knowing what to do besides pace from my bedroom to my kitchen trying to avoid eating something every 20 minutes, I will do that.  Every 20 minutes.

The same goes for my mental state.  If I’m feeling genuinely happy and motivated, my actions and thoughts will reflect that.  If I’m having a bad moment, there goes a good two weeks of my life being depressed, complaining about it and not doing anything to change it.

If I’m in the habit of going to the gym on a regular basis and making healthy choices nutritionally, it’s easy!  If I’ve let myself order a pizza (or four, as I did while I was home for my sister’s wedding-Donato’s Pizza-it’s like crack) or have a heap of ice cream (or four, as I did while I was home for my sister’s wedding-Jeni’s Ice Cream-it’s like crack) then suddenly that is my norm.  My habit is choosing food that’s bad for me even though it tastes like angels singing in my mouth.

I’m currently recovering from my trip.  I’ve been home a week now, and I’m still suffering the consequences.  I wasn’t disciplined at all with my diet, my workout, my liver or my work ethic.  Hell, I only wrote one post the whole two weeks I was there, but I did watch a lot of Bones!  Now, it was absolutely wonderful to spend time with my family and to eat boatloads of Columbus’ finest cuisine, but I see now that I used my vacation as an excuse to get off track and I am paying the price.  

Getting out of this sloth mode I’ve settled into has been an uphill battle, but I’m taking my steps.  In the week since I’ve been home, I’ve been to several classes, 2 successful job interviews, 1 successful meeting with an manager, and I’ve busted my butt at the gym to work off those pizzas.  Do I still spend time sitting around wandering what to do?  Yes, but that’s because I haven’t come up with a plan for myself.  That’s my next step!

I know with me, when I fall off the rails, I fall hard.  I’m learning that I really need to stay the course because my willpower sucks when I’m not getting things accomplished.  I’m paying attention to my triggers.  What are the things that really get me motivated?  What are the excuses I’m making to justify my restful habits?  What are the roadblocks to productivity I keep encountering? (Netflix.  The answer is Netflix.  We are all guilty.) 

The older I get, the more accountable I have to be for myself.  The only one who can take me from sloth mode to Yakuza slayer is me.  So I’ll start climbing back up that awesome hill.

…after this episode ends.

-Jadey Lady

 

 

I don’t want to write.  I haven’t wanted to write since my last post.  But the thought of leaving this page so stagnate has been nagging at me since then.  I mean seriously nagging at me.  The longer I’ve put off writing for whatever reason, the more I think about how terrible of a blogger I am.  This blog was an exciting new journey for me and over the course of a few weeks, it’s become another one of my unfinished projects.  It’s become something I dread thinking about because I dwell on my inactivity when the more efficient choice would have been to shut up and write.

Lady Lesson # 16: Close Your Apps!

Before I sat down to write this, I was pacing around my room debating whether or not I wanted to.  “I don’t have anything to write about”.  “My readers have lost interest”.  “I’ve missed the blog boat and it ain’t turning around this time!”  I came up with a million excuses as to why I couldn’t do it.  Funnily enough, none of them really meant anything and I ultimately decided to just sit down and write.

It is easy, and I mean really easy to make up reasons for not doing something.  Hell, I make up reasons why I can’t cook dinner.  “Well, all of the forks have disappeared and pizza is the only thing that doesn’t require silverware!”  True story.  I will sit there and talk myself out of anything, especially if it inconveniences me or worse, takes me out of my comfort zone.  Where’s the life in that?  

So now that I’ve talked myself out of anything ranging from putting in a service request for my shower that has no water pressure to calling back my new friend I promised to grab drinks with, where am I?  I’m worried.  I’m thinking “I should do blah blah”.  I’m dirty and lonely, at least in this case.  My mind is cluttered with what a friend of mine refers to as programs.  Think of an iPhone.  If you don’t close each application when you’re done it’ll keep running and eventually your camera stops taking pictures because there isn’t enough space.  We’ve all been there.  Each task I put off, no matter how small, is another program running in the background, slowing down my processing speed.

The solution, which I’m still adjusting to, is to just get things done.  The more I put them off, the more cluttered I am and the less efficiently I work.  The tasks I debate the most about are the ones that need the most attention.  Getting back into writing has been a big one for me.  I put it off and put it off and made excuses until I got to this stressed, fearful point.  Writing this blog is something I really do enjoy.  If tasks I enjoy put me in a stressful place, imagine how cluttered I must be with the things I really don’t want to do.  

Get it done.  If it’s something you’re trying hard to talk yourself out of but it still nags at you, then that’s the thing that needs to be finished ASAP.  Close the programs, clear your head!  Is this my favorite blog post?  Not necessarily, but I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders for jumping back in here, knowing the next time will be easier.  

Welcome back!

-Jadey Lady