Archives for the month of: November, 2013

It’s been a while friends!  And while there is a small amount of guilt in my heart for not writing, there is an even greater amount of joy and elatedness coursing through my veins.  You see, I’ve adopted a few new habits that have brought me to the next stage of my personal growth and evolution.  I’ve learned so many little things that it’s hard to put this entry into one distinct lesson.  But if I could sum it up it would be this:

Lady Lesson #27: Nurture Yourself!

Now I may have said this before, but it is so relevant in my life right now.  Over the past few weeks I’ve really taken the time to accept myself, learn about myself and use that knowledge to blossom into the magnificent being that I am.  The first step for me was to really step back and take some time to be by myself.  At first, that meant watching copious amounts of The Vampire Diaries and browsing my newsfeed every 10 minutes.  Those activities pulled me further away from myself, strangely enough, and by strangely enough I mean I’m not surprised at all.

When I realized how drained I felt from being by myself in that unfulfilling way, I went back to wanting to hang out with people.  That didn’t feed me either as I found myself drowning in self-generated negative energy.  I finally saw that I wasn’t ready to be out in the world around everyone, especially those closest to me, if I couldn’t be a beacon of positivity.  So I decided to spend some time with myself and really, spend some time with me.  Not the computer, not the phone.

I started making to do lists with specific, small tasks that I was happy to do.  If I didn’t get something done, I didn’t beat myself up, I just used it as motivation to do better tomorrow.  I started writing out my life vision every morning and posting it on my wall as a reminder of why I’m doing what I’m doing.
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I started transforming my room into an inspiration haven by posting positive affirmations and images of people, places and things (it’s strange to just call them nouns right?) that I want in my life.  Hell, I’ve been imagining my dream house every morning, specifically the kitchen, living room and sun deck.  I found real estate listings with pictures eerily similar to my imagined home.  So those are going up on the wall, no doubt.

My affirmations:
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I wrote myself a nice big check for 100 Grand.  Just to get in the habit of the big paydays you know.Image 
I see this right when I wake up!  Monte Carlo and winning an Oscar.  How can I not be inspired for the rest of the day?Image

I have spent more time imagining the life I want than I ever have and I am so happy with myself.  Just me.  I feel that my happiness is not tied to anyone else and it’s because I’ve taken the time to be by myself and support myself and surround myself with inspiration and goodness.  I’ve been reading books like A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield.  Unlike Facebook, these books feed my growth and it’s real easy to stay on track if your free time is spent watching or reading things that support you in your journey.  I watched The Secret on Netflix instead of an episode of Family Guy.  I learned about the Law of Attraction and boom!  There I was making my vision wall.  There I was watching First Position, a documentary about the largest youth ballet competition in the world, instead of browsing through another Buzzfeed list of 21 Gifs To Waste Your Life Away On.  I became so inspired I broke out my pointe shoes and started to choreograph.  *Word to the wise, a few years out of toe shoes will render your feet kind of useless.  This wasn’t my best idea.  My toes are still bruised.* Long story short, inspiration begets inspiration.

I visited places that I’d always wanted to go to like the Getty Center.  I conquered my fear of going to Millennium Dance Complex in North Hollywood (all the celebrities rehearse there, it’s no big deal) and realized that I was in much better dancing shape than I knew.  I auditioned for Disneyland Paris because, why not? I trusted that the choices I was making were the right ones and it outweighed any fear I had.  

I am so confident right now because I can see that I’m on the right path and it’s because I took the time to seek it and to allow it to happen.  I’m following my instincts.  I’m holding myself accountable.  I’m standing up for myself.  I’m following my inspiration.  I’m following my joy.  And it’s because I am finally, truly nurturing myself by taking in only the good.

I’ve found myself grinning wildly for no reason saying “today is amazing!  Thank you Universe!”  I’ve found myself looking in the mirror and saying “I love you!  You are beautiful!  You have so many opportunities and so much potential.  I love you!” And it’s real!  

So a bit of a long one today, but it’s been a long month with a lot of growth.  Thank you for spending a moment with me today.  Go off and find your inspiration!  Tell me about it!  I’m in a sharing mood.  

Until next time.  Love love love.

-Jadey Lady

 

Recently, I’ve asked the Universe for some guidance and help.  I just can’t seem to stay on track!  And what’s worse, I beat myself up whenever I make a mistake.  I’m stressed, worried and it’s taking a toll on me, physically and mentally.  Yesterday, before I went to bed, I surrendered. I said out loud, “I am ready to get out of the way.”

Boy howdy!  Did the Universe deliver!  I had the most restless, productive sleep I have ever had.  Truth be told, I hardly slept.  I tossed and turned all night long.  My shoulder was aching, my back was aching, my hips and legs were sore.  Everything was out of place.

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But I learned so much!  In my dreams, there were 3 or 4 versions of me and they all wanted different things.  One wanted to just relax, so she ignored the problem and went about her business, hoping it would go away.  Meanwhile, this other Jade wanted to stretch out and explore, while this other Jade was in complete agony and wanted to stay exactly where she was comfortable.  Then you’ve got the big mama Jade.  She was a fiery Latina and she was stubborn.  Don’t even know what she wanted, but she wanted it and she was not afraid to let you know.  That one dominated the conversation as I’m sure you picked up on.

Big Mama called a meeting.  She came right out and said that everybody needed to figure out what was going on and needed to work together because “dis es not working, okay?”  (Imagine, Sofia Vergara saying that.  It’ll make more sense).  At least her stubbornness was pointed in the right direction.  It was very United States of Tara. Great show!  It’s on Netflix.  Do yourself a favor and get addicted.  Basically, Tara, a woman with multiple personalities, calls a conference between her alter egos so they can all work together harmoniously.  

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But anyway, this is what my dream looked like.  The conference didn’t last too long and I continued dreaming as usual.  You know, family, friends, zombies.  But any time my body positioning started to hurt me, the voices in my head paused the dream to assess what was going on.  They woke me up!  And I couldn’t go back to sleep until I had properly attended to whatever was aching.  If I judged myself or got upset about it, they wouldn’t let me go back to sleep.  I had to be at peace with whatever mental crap and physical pain I had going on.  Now, luckily for me, the girls helped me out and explained why I was positioned how I was and why I was feeling what I was feeling. A strange concept I know, believe me.  When I got back to sleep, I slept so well that I feel alert and awake after basically 4 hours of completely restless sleep.

Lady Lesson #26: Find Harmony Within Yourself!

Yeah, it’s Long Intro Monday.  I’m not upset about it. 

What I learned from the girls in my dream is that I really do have conflicting needs and desires.  There’s always a part of me that disagrees with what another part of me wants or does.  This push and pull only allows for constant disappointment with myself or stagnation, which eventually leads to disappointment with myself.  I don’t make a lot of strides forward because 4 different sides of me are running in opposite directions.

There will be no peace, no growth for me until I can reach a level of understanding between all my wants and needs.  There are a lot and a lot of them directly go against each other.  I just haven’t taken time to look at them and apparently the Universe had to spell it out for me.  I mean, if that isn’t the most obvious way of telling me what’s up, am I right?

So figure out what I want from life.  Figure out what I need.  Let those core desires and needs live so deeply within me that there is never a question of “what do I do?”  Well, I do whatever falls in line with my core values.  But more importantly than that, I get to support myself along the way.  The conflicts will not be solved if there is no give and take or if there’s constant judgment.  Now’s the time to treat myself with more love and respect than any other human being in the world.  That’s where the growth will come from.  Not stubbornness.  Not attachment to these different identities with opposite values.

Support.  Love.  Compromise.  Sacrifice. Willingness to shed ineffective habits and beliefs.  Desire to live in harmony no matter the cost.  That’s where growth comes from.

So here’s to the Universe!  Thank you for your help.  Here’s to my conflicted subconscious and wildly vivid imagination working with each other and not against each other!  Huzzah!

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-Jadey Lady