Recently, I’ve asked the Universe for some guidance and help.  I just can’t seem to stay on track!  And what’s worse, I beat myself up whenever I make a mistake.  I’m stressed, worried and it’s taking a toll on me, physically and mentally.  Yesterday, before I went to bed, I surrendered. I said out loud, “I am ready to get out of the way.”

Boy howdy!  Did the Universe deliver!  I had the most restless, productive sleep I have ever had.  Truth be told, I hardly slept.  I tossed and turned all night long.  My shoulder was aching, my back was aching, my hips and legs were sore.  Everything was out of place.

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But I learned so much!  In my dreams, there were 3 or 4 versions of me and they all wanted different things.  One wanted to just relax, so she ignored the problem and went about her business, hoping it would go away.  Meanwhile, this other Jade wanted to stretch out and explore, while this other Jade was in complete agony and wanted to stay exactly where she was comfortable.  Then you’ve got the big mama Jade.  She was a fiery Latina and she was stubborn.  Don’t even know what she wanted, but she wanted it and she was not afraid to let you know.  That one dominated the conversation as I’m sure you picked up on.

Big Mama called a meeting.  She came right out and said that everybody needed to figure out what was going on and needed to work together because “dis es not working, okay?”  (Imagine, Sofia Vergara saying that.  It’ll make more sense).  At least her stubbornness was pointed in the right direction.  It was very United States of Tara. Great show!  It’s on Netflix.  Do yourself a favor and get addicted.  Basically, Tara, a woman with multiple personalities, calls a conference between her alter egos so they can all work together harmoniously.  

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But anyway, this is what my dream looked like.  The conference didn’t last too long and I continued dreaming as usual.  You know, family, friends, zombies.  But any time my body positioning started to hurt me, the voices in my head paused the dream to assess what was going on.  They woke me up!  And I couldn’t go back to sleep until I had properly attended to whatever was aching.  If I judged myself or got upset about it, they wouldn’t let me go back to sleep.  I had to be at peace with whatever mental crap and physical pain I had going on.  Now, luckily for me, the girls helped me out and explained why I was positioned how I was and why I was feeling what I was feeling. A strange concept I know, believe me.  When I got back to sleep, I slept so well that I feel alert and awake after basically 4 hours of completely restless sleep.

Lady Lesson #26: Find Harmony Within Yourself!

Yeah, it’s Long Intro Monday.  I’m not upset about it. 

What I learned from the girls in my dream is that I really do have conflicting needs and desires.  There’s always a part of me that disagrees with what another part of me wants or does.  This push and pull only allows for constant disappointment with myself or stagnation, which eventually leads to disappointment with myself.  I don’t make a lot of strides forward because 4 different sides of me are running in opposite directions.

There will be no peace, no growth for me until I can reach a level of understanding between all my wants and needs.  There are a lot and a lot of them directly go against each other.  I just haven’t taken time to look at them and apparently the Universe had to spell it out for me.  I mean, if that isn’t the most obvious way of telling me what’s up, am I right?

So figure out what I want from life.  Figure out what I need.  Let those core desires and needs live so deeply within me that there is never a question of “what do I do?”  Well, I do whatever falls in line with my core values.  But more importantly than that, I get to support myself along the way.  The conflicts will not be solved if there is no give and take or if there’s constant judgment.  Now’s the time to treat myself with more love and respect than any other human being in the world.  That’s where the growth will come from.  Not stubbornness.  Not attachment to these different identities with opposite values.

Support.  Love.  Compromise.  Sacrifice. Willingness to shed ineffective habits and beliefs.  Desire to live in harmony no matter the cost.  That’s where growth comes from.

So here’s to the Universe!  Thank you for your help.  Here’s to my conflicted subconscious and wildly vivid imagination working with each other and not against each other!  Huzzah!

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-Jadey Lady

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The end.

Just kidding.  But seriously folks, this is one of the simplest life concepts to grasp.  Loving yourself is the first, if not the most important step towards happiness.  It is also the biggest hurdle to overcome.  Just ask me!  

Lady Lesson #25: Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

I am so, freaking mean to myself.  We all know how easily I beat myself up.  I am quick to judge, especially when I’ve made a mistake or failed.  I am very quick to chastise myself and make sure I’m good and punished, yet it’s like choking on nails to tell myself I’m beautiful, or smart.  

Somewhere along the way, I allowed my inner light to dim.  I thought humility was polite and courteous.  “Thank you for the compliment, but you’re mistaken.  Here’s this other problem I’ve invented to prove it to you.”  I got in the habit of putting myself down because I didn’t want to come off as cocky, or arrogant.  I wanted people to like me, so that of course meant staying as far away from arrogance as possible.  Over the years, I’ve grown quiet and diminutive.  I’ve started believing all of the bad things I say about myself.  And now, I hold myself back from many of my hopes and dreams because my confidence is buried beneath the years of “humility.”

In the last year especially, I’ve learned that that sh*t’s gotta stop.  Yesterday.  I live in Los Angeles.  I’m competing with everyone and I’m not even my biggest fan.  What kind of position does that put me in?  Last place from the get-go.  The odds are definitely not in my favor.

My friend had a birthday party and there was this guy who was just dancing his badonk off.  He was absolutely intoxicating to watch.  I tried to figure out what was so special about him and it was definitely his confidence, but equally important was the love he had for himself.  He got a kick out of watching himself in the mirror, he almost had a flirtatious quality, like “yeah, I see you.”  To himself! It was amazing.  Later, when I talked to him he said that he had spent hours in front of the mirror, working on dance moves and praising the things he liked.  He loved his hips and his stomach, so he would practice hip isolations, simply because he liked watching himself.  

I was always the girl in ballet class who avoided the mirror because I hated the way I looked.  I missed out on so many learning opportunities because I was unkind to myself.  I’ve started doing flamenco dancing for a show I’m in and I’ve approached it in a completely open and loving way.  After meeting the dancer, I realized that the only way the technique would look good on me was if I focused on what I loved about myself doing it.  It made a world of difference!  I wish I could convey the powerful feeling I got from just loving what I was doing.  It’s indescribable.

Confidence and self-appreciation is key.  How do you expect to reach any goals if you don’t believe you can do it?  And I mean, truly believe.  Truly, deeply, feel it in your bones, not-even-a-bad-morning-could-shake-you belief.  That’s the type of love that is most important in your life.  The love you have for you.

I woke up this morning and was prepared to  berate myself for all of the things I haven’t accomplished.  For the first time, I stopped myself.  I said “you are not getting out of this bed until you say something nice!”  So I did that.  I complimented myself.  I gave myself a hug.  I looked at uplifting quotes and images.  I even felt compelled to share with a friend.  I feel so much better than I have in recent months and it’s because I made it a priority to start the day off from a place of love and care.  I’ve only been awake for 90 minutes, but I already feel great.  I looked in the mirror and said “you’re beautiful” instead of picking apart my face or judging my body.  I am seeing the positives.  It’s a freaking miracle and I love it.

It’s not easy.  At least it isn’t for me.  I’ve gotten along for so long putting myself down that it feels like a complete lie when I say “I love myself.”  “I appreciate myself.”  “I am a worthwhile human being.”  The hardest part about loving myself is that nothing is getting in my way other than me and my mind.  It’s such a simple command, believe in yourself, but have you ever tried to change your way of thinking?  It’s tough.

But it’s necessary.  

When you stop beating yourself up, you stand a chance at becoming your best self and that is a person everyone can love.

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-Jadey Lady

I’m sitting in the waiting room waiting for my friend to come out of surgery. See, he was in a motorcycle accident last week and his wrist shattered into 5 pieces as he rolled across several highway lanes. His knees and left hand also got pretty banged up. 
The reason? He was changing lanes and the car  he ended up behind didn’t like that. So she slammed on her brakes. To teach him a lesson. 

Luckily he’s okay. Thank God, those are the only injuries he suffered. Cuz you know, he might have, I dunno, died? Or something? 

People forget that every other person they encounter is still a living, breathing human being. As in human being, just like them. 

Lady Lesson #24: Think Before You Rage

The woman who brake checked my friend out of anger or revenge, continued to drive after the bike went down. Apparently she stopped at the next exit, but she called in to the cops because she was afraid someone had gotten her license plate and could identify her. All signs point to a horrible human being. I just had to say it. If I had her name, I’d shout it from the rooftops so she gets the judgment she deserves. 

Starting over. The woman decided to let her negative opinion of motorcyclists overpower her humanity. There was nothing in front of her.  There was no reason to slam the brakes other than to say “I’ll teach you to pull in close behind me.” Had she let go of whatever judgment she had, had she let go of her road rage long enough to realize that someone’s life was in her hands, none of this would have happened. No lost days waiting at the hospital.  No lost wages from the 3 months of recovery where he can’t go to work. No inexplicably high medical bills that really can’t be paid right now, especially without generating income. No heartbreakingly sad pitbull who can’t properly wrestle with his daddy, lest he cause more injury.  

This lesson is universal because all of our actions have consequences, but it applies on the road.  Road rage is  a real thing and as long as you keep it to shouting obscenities and grunting with your windows up, it’s fine. But don’t ever retaliate. Don’t slam on your brakes to stop someone who is following too closely for your enjoyment. Don’t make a point to show that car that cut in front of you two miles back how angry you are with them by returning the favor. Don’t touch your horn unless you need it! Sitting on your horn only makes you look like the asshole. 

There are plenty of aggressive, stupid drivers on the road. They’ll piss you off. But every other vehicle (and I mean vehicle, that includes motorcycles) on the road is operated by a human being. a human being with family and friends and people whose lives are directly tied to the well being of the driver you feel the need to teach a lesson. 

Be the bigger person. 

Ryan was lucky. Incredibly lucky.  Some people are not.  Be nice to motorcyclists. They aren’t the problem. You are.  Image

-Jadey Lady

Good friends are everything. Good friends will get you through the rough times. They’ll bring caramel apple suckers and popcorn to your emergency sleepover. They’ll make you laugh harder than any comedian ever could. They’ll call you out when you’re using your stress as an excuse to be a biatch. They’ll keep you on track with your career goals. They’ll keep you off track with your diet (but if we are being honest, we all secretly love the friend that bakes us cookies).

They’ll climb mountains with you. They’ll complain about it the whole way, but you will too so it works. They’ll celebrate the fact that it’s a Tuesday and they are alive by scarfing down copious amounts of margaritas and tacos. They’ll order a pizza and watch movies you both know by heart, all while offering a brilliant commentary.

They’ll pick you up from airports, train stations, bus stations, your mom’s house. They’ll wait for a tow truck to get your car that just caught on fire. They’ll fly across the country just to see you. They’ll take you to the hospital and they’ll pick up your prescriptions on the way home.

They’ll send you a text when you most need a reminder that you are loved. They’ll teach their babies call you “Auntie” even though there’s not a drop of blood between you.  They’ll put you in their wedding and accept your presence as their gift because a 500 dollar plane ticket and a 200 dress don’t leave much room for spending.

They’ll come to your rescue when you least expect it. They’ll drive from New York to Ohio with your aunt and uncle they don’t really know just so they can support you when you lose a parent. They’ll drop what they’re doing to bake you mini quiches and finish off a bottle of Jack Daniels. They’ll hand over the keys to their apartment without hesitation when you go through a breakup.   They’ll take the phone away from you when you’re too drunk to be calling your parents about it.

They’ll support you until the day they die, regardless of what happened in the past.

They will be there for you through thick and thin.

They will remind you that you are loved and you deserve to be loved.

Lady Lesson #23: Appreciate Your Good Friends.

They are the ones that will be there when everything is wonderful. They are the ones that will be pulling you up when the world drops out from underneath you.  They are your chosen family.

Take care of them.

-Jadey Lady

Recently I came to the conclusion that I had found “The One”. The Ross to my Rachel, so to speak.  Lucky for me, he’s got himself a girlfriend! Even luckier, he and this unknown entity have been parading around my thoughts and haunting my dreams. And they’re both super nice and sensitive to my feelings in my dreams so I don’t even have the satisfaction of being angry about it!  

I’ve been nauseous, like I’m constantly two minutes away from hurling, since my revelation of who he is to me and the subsequent discoveries of who I can’t be to him have not really helped my anxiety.  At all. 

Lady Lesoon #22:  People Ever-changing and You Cannot Possess Them

So I’m in my own romantic comedy right now. Or my own three season love arc on a sitcom. It’s that part of the movie or series where everything goes awry for the main characters. You know everything’s going to be just fine, but you have to get through all of the antics and feelings before they have the wedding of the century that’s all over TV Guide.  

As much as that dream of the big wedding, or even more epic, interrupting the big wedding to say “I object! I should have been with you the whole time, come, let’s drive off into the mountains together”, is, it’s not necessarily true and if it is, it’s not a guarantee. And it definitely doesn’t give me solace in this time of frustration. 

The heart of the matter is that we aren’t at the same place in our lives to be with each other. And as much as I want to, I won’t try to convince him I’m right. He’s his own person and I don’t own him. Regardless of what happens between us, I never will. And I have to accept that. Look, we both have grown a lot, and there’s still more growing to do. To have an expectation that things would just click because “you’re mine and I’m yours” is asinine. 

A lot of my hurt is tied to the deep seated belief/dream I have that we are meant to grow old together. I’ve been unwilling to let go of this dream and every second that takes me further away from it distresses me. I feel entitled to him. What? Now that doesn’t make any sense. Holding on to what can’t exist right now instead of letting the relationship evolve into whatever dynamic it’s going to be only hurts me in the long run. It also prevents me from fully engaging in new experiences. 

Through this I’ve learned patience is key. Not that I’m waiting for him necessarily, just being patient and having faith that life will work out how it’s supposed to. I’ve learned I need to rely on myself and love myself because at the end of the day, I’m the only constant.

Let people evolve. Be it a friend, significant other, family member, whatever. Sometimes they grow into even better versions of themselves. Sometimes they evolve into someone you really don’t like and need to stay away from. Sometimes they can only grow if you aren’t around. Accept it and don’t stress about it. Or at least try not to. 

It’s one of those listen to Mariah Carey’s “Butterfly” on repeat kind of days.  But also a Bill Withers “Lovely Day” kind of day.  Everything’s all akimbo.  That’s quite okay.  

-Jadey Lady

I recently had a conversation involving good monkeys and bad monkeys.  Anything involving monkeys is already a winning conversation in my book, just want to throw that in there.  You’ve got the good monkey on one shoulder, being the adorable voice of reason and you’ve got the bad monkey on your other shoulder.  He’s hissing into your ear “eat that Taco Bell!” and “chug that bottle of Jack!” “Slap her!”  You know, the fun things.  Now most people see this image as the angel and devil on each shoulder.  Whatever works, I don’t discriminate.

As I reflected on my monkeys (henceforth referred to as Good Monkey and Bad Monkey respectively) and how they had come into play recently, I realized that the main difference between Good Monkey and Bad Monkey is my focus.  Bad Monkey lives in the present.  Whatever feels good right now is what needs to be done.  Oh man, sleeping that extra 3 hours feels real good right now!  Whereas Good Monkey takes a minute, thinks “wait a second.  Won’t this keep me from getting things done and make me upset?  Perhaps I should wake up.  Yes, that’s it!  Wake up!”  

Lady Lesson #21: Listen to Your Good Monkey.  

I kind of touched on this idea in one of my earlier posts, so I may say some things that have been said, but are still relevant.  I’ve learned that I’m happiest when I make choices that help me in the long run instead of doing what just feels good in the moment.  I tend to lie.  About little useless things.  Mom hated it.  I shaved my legs once when I was young.  Mom saw this, asked me if I shaved my legs.  I denied it vehemently.  In spite of the fact I was wearing shorts and clearly had baby smooth legs.  Needless to say I was grounded.  It’s a bad habit I’m still breaking.  In the moment, lying feels right, but it always gets me in more trouble than telling the truth does.  I’m listening to the Good Monkey and I’ve found it much easier to get through the day.

But seriously.  Bad Monkey will be right in your ear like a speakerphone when you really need to think about the future.  In college, he’ll be knocking back shots at Happy Hour with you when you might want to spend more time preparing for your senior presentation that determines whether or not you will work right after graduation.  He’ll be inserting winky faces into those texts that shouldn’t be sent lest your significant other look through your phone.  He’ll be the one telling you it’s okay to rip the rearview mirror out of your car because someone pissed you off.  

Learn to hear the Good Monkey.  Good Monkey will save you heartache and distress.  Good Monkey knows what you want your life to look like.  He knows what you value and who you value and he will always work to maintain what’s important to you.  Bad Monkey just wants that cute guy to give you some attention and buy you another drink.  Bad Monkey just wants to win the argument at all costs.  He doesn’t think of the consequences and he especially don’t give a sh*t about how it affects other people.  

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey is impossible to get through.  I tried.  A lot of people I know have tried.  But!  One of the habits is “Begin With the End in Mind”.  Know what you want, know your values and know them so deeply that they live inside of you.  Your actions will start to reflect those values.  It’s almost like you’ve picked your destination on the map (let’s say it’s Disneyland!) , so you stop wandering around aimlessly and stop taking detours to stupid small towns that take you further away from Cinderella’s Castle.  Good Monkey wants to go to Disneyland!  Bad Monkey is the kid in the backseat who has to pee every 10 minutes on top of being carsick.  

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I know I’m ready to hand the reigns over to my Good Monkey.  I’m discovering what is important to me and I’ll be damned if I let my careless Bad Monkey take any of that away.  He’s not really bad, just misguided.  Perhaps I shouldn’t refer to him as Bad Monkey as much is Present Monkey?  Or Instant Gratification Monkey?  Who knows, but maybe he’ll learn from Good Monkey and find joy in walking towards the bigger picture.  I’ve got my fingers crossed!

ImageSo befriend your monkeys, just think twice before taking Bad Monkey’s advice.

-Jadey Lady

 

I’ve been seeing a lot of articles and videos (four today!) about the “millenials” that basically justify why my generation is so…useless? Lost? Burdensome?  *This post is more spur of the moment than anything else, so I warn you in advance this may not be my best Lesson.* Basically, we aren’t to blame.  The baby boomers left us in a position that makes it impossible to grow into successful adults.  I mean, they caused the recession.  They depleted our earth’s resources.  They increased the cost of a college education exponentially.  They gave us rewards for simply existing consequently eradicating our need for competition.  They they they they they!

Lady Lessson #20: Shut Up and Take Responsibility for Yourself!

Millenials: Stop passing the buck.  That is one of the biggest problems with my generation is that we don’t take responsibility for our actions and we don’t really look at ourselves.  We are so quick to blame others for our problems.  Think about any arguments you’ve had recently.  How often do you speak in terms of “I did this” vs “you did this to me” or “they caused it”? I am guilty as hell of this.  But I’ve suffered the consequences of this behavior and what it ultimately lead to was a deluded sense of righteousness and entitlement.  I’ve spent a majority of my life getting myself off the hook instead of learning from my mistakes and now, look where I am.  I’m 24, broke and confused as all get out.

I am a millenial.  I put myself in the position that I am in.  Yes, the economy sucks, a big fat sloppy one, but it’s my own fault for eating out 3 meals a day, or spending all of my tips on scarves or alcohol, or being too caught up scrolling through my newsfeed to leave early enough to find free parking.  Yes, the unemployment rate is sky high, but it’s my fault I was too uppity to apply to certain jobs.  Here’s the thing, when I reached my breaking point, I got hired at two different restaurants in the same week.  I needed money, I needed a job and when I worked for it, I got it.  It’s not my dream job, it’s not my career, but you know what?  I, like many other millenials, chose a career that lends itself to homelessness (actor in LA! What what!) unless you get to the top.  I’m not there, but I still have to pay rent.  Newsflash, I’m not above having a serving job or two to get it done.

Now, I have an appreciation for my employment because every shift I work is another step away from being a financial burden on my family.  Believe me, I thought I was above it before, I was uppity, let’s be honest, but I’ve been humbled and it’s time to work.  Millenials, it is time to work.  Start somewhere.  Not being able to find your dream job is not a free pass to fuck around with social media on your expensive electronics.

Life doesn’t seem very uplifting or encouraging right now, I get that.  I’ve spent the better part of my 20s secretly wishing I’d end up in a coma because the reality of the future looked so bleak.  I get it.  But I’m sick of making excuses for myself because it is only holding me back from the amazing life I have the potential to live.  And I’m sick of hearing us complaining.  And I’m sick of people justifying why we suck.  It’s like we’re being given another undeserved trophy for “Best Wasted Youth.”  Stop feeding into it!  We are so much better than we allow ourselves to be.

So shut up! And do something.

-Lady

Last night, I received a text from a friend who had a free ticket to the employee preview night at Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights.  He was working it so he couldn’t come with me, but another one of our friends was planning on coming, so I thought “awesome, I’ll have someone to go with and not be getting chased by clowns on my own.”  Well, it was time to leave and I had yet to hear from this friend.  Even though I had said yes, I started making up reasons not to go, just so I didn’t have to be alone.  Now, passing up a free trip to Universal Studios on a night where each ride had only a 10 minute wait? That’s dumb.  I decided to go, regardless of my potential solitude.

Lady Lesson #19: Say Yes and Mean It.

When I got to the park, my friend who was working got me free parking (ba-zing!).  He ran into another friend of his who worked it last year, but also had not heard from her friends who were supposed to be meeting her.  We had two hours to kill.  We didn’t know each other.  To make the best of a less than ideal situation, we had to become fast friends.  She and I ended up having a wonderful night.  Our mutual love of being scared by zombies transcended any awkwardness strangers might have.  

What would have happened if I had said yes, but ended up not going anyway?  Well, I don’t know.  But I guarantee you it would not have been nearly as fun as screaming my way through The Walking Dead prison.  It would not have made me laugh like the clown that tripped and fell when he tried to scare me.  It would not have gotten me a free chicken wrap and an ice cream sandwich!  Now, I’ve got a wonderful memory, made even better because I was out of my comfort zone and meeting new people.

Some of my favorite memories have been the times when I just said yes and actually followed through.  In college, I saw Yes, Man starring Jim Carrey.  We got out of the movie at like, 1 AM.  We were so amped up and motivated, we made a pact to just say yes for the rest of the night.  Wanna drive out to the “beach”? Yes!  Wanna play on this playground in the snow? Yes!  Wanna go to Waffle House???  YES!!!  So what if it was 430 AM before we got to sleep?  So what if I had to be up for dance class by 830? It was totally worth it for the amazing memory.

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So say yes!  I mean, if it’s life threatening or you have a 90% chance of losing a limb, I think you can opt out.  But say yes to anything that sounds fun, like a new adventure.  Say yes to new opportunities.  Say yes to new friends.  Say yes and mean it.  Your word is more important than you can imagine.  Now go off and adventure!

-Jadey Lady

My first car was a 92 Honda Accord with 200,000 miles on it.  That’s a lot of wear and tear.  You’d think it’d be pretty dead, but it wasn’t.  It was in tip top shape, I mean as much as it could have been.  Then one afternoon, on my way home from school it just stopped working.  Called my mom, she didn’t know what to do.  Called my dad, he did that thing that people who understand cars do and discovered that there was no oil in the car.  Like zilch.  Nada.  “Bone dry” were the words he used.  We had a nice caravan on the way home.  I drove the minivan while mom pushed my Honda with the Jeep.  As dad steered my Honda all the way home, I could see the fury in his eyes.  He was angry, not at me as much as himself for forgetting to tell me cars needed more than gasoline to run.

Now, did you know you were supposed to pay attention to that sort of thing?  I didn’t!  I also didn’t know that a puddle of bright green fluid sitting next to your tires was your car’s way of saying “Don’t try to drive me home!  Call your parents now!”  I also didn’t know that you have to bring an automatic car to a complete stop before putting it in reverse or else your transmission will explode.  Boy howdy, I’ll never forget that moment.  I also didn’t know that you have to have the car in park before you turn it on.  I didn’t know that having your floor mat slip beneath your accelerator pedal will render your car’s top speed at an unbearable 50 mph.  I didn’t know that covering up the grill of a car with a sign reading “Jade 4 Homecoming Queen” would bust the radiator.  

Whoops.

Yes, I am automobile illiterate.  My mother calls me Car Kryptonite.  It’s a curse.  But in my adulthood, I’ve learned that it is a curse I can overcome if I allow myself to.

Lady Lesson #18:  Befriend Your Car

This is Sheldon:

ImageSheldon has been with me since 2009.  We’ve been through some stuff.  After a few months, he was in the shop for about a month because the clutch needed to be replaced and instead of replacing the whole thing, they fixed half of it, as if the older half wouldn’t break down shortly after.  Ha!  He got me through college.  He moved me across the country.  He took me and dad to the Grand Canyon!

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 He’s put up with Los Angeles traffic and hoodlums (parked somewhere for 10 minutes, came out, the car next to me was gone and my passenger side mirror was hanging off its wires.  It lives in my trunk right now).  He’s a great car.  Loyal.  Persistent.  Always ready to go, even if the gas has been on E for two days, or he’s been due for an oil change for a month.  I love him, even though I’m a terrible car mom.

Well, he’s been making a rattling noise for a while now.  Like someone’s shaking maracas in my engine.  I finally took him in today.  I had gotten the estimate before my trip, but didn’t take him in until now.  Stupid.  What I’ve learned since I got back is
1) I hate driving around (or not going somewhere) worrying whether this is the day he gives up on me
2) I hate being the chick on the road with the ratty car.  He’s dirty, missing a mirror and waking people up at night.  He’s officially a hoopty.
3) I hate being a bad mom.  For a car that has been through so much, yet still gets me where I need to go without fail, he deserves better.

When I dropped him off at the shop today, I felt really good.  I didn’t mind that this transmission rebuild is going to cost about $1,200 I absolutely don’t have (Thank you mom!).  I rest easy knowing I will have a working vehicle by Friday afternoon.  I’m gonna get that mirror replaced.  I’m gonna get him washed.  Somewhere where they do it by hand and vacuum out the interior.  I don’t have the handyman around anymore.  It’s my responsibility to take care of my car, and now that I see just how much I value my Sheldon, I will take care of him.  No more empty tanks.  No more overdue oil changes.  No more waiting to take him in when I have no clue what’s wrong.  I’ve learned from my many mistakes.

So befriend your car!  Keep it clean.  Pay attention to the ticks and rattles.  If your car sounds like a mariachi band in a haunted house, turning up the music to drown it out won’t help you.  Fact.  Be nice to it, it will be nice to you.  

Also, Parents!  Mine is a cautionary tale.  If you are a parent, please teach your kids about car maintenance.  Basic maintenance.  Like “hey, you need to have oil in your car or else the engine will seize up and die” or “I know this maneuverability test sucks, please don’t get mad and flip the car into reverse without stopping lest you blow the transmission to smithereens!”  You know, the little things. 

Happy driving!

-Jadey Lady

 

When I am in the zone, I am an unstoppable machine!  I’m like The Bride in Kill Bill and the tasks on my to do list are The Crazy 88.  Image
We all know how satisfying that epic fight sequence is to watch.  I get that same satisfaction when I accomplish lots of things.  

When I am not in the zone, I am an unmovable force of laziness.  

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No matter how hard I think “I should be doing something other than watching Orange is the New Black until I reach the end of the season,” I end up doing just that.  What’s worse, I pretend that finishing up this season is the end of my laziness, like they didn’t just upload a a new season of Portlandia.  Secret: It NEVER ends.

Lady Lesson #17: An object in motion will stay in motion, an object at rest will choose Netflix over productivity.

Now this lesson is much more universal than its title implies.  What I’m learning is I will do whatever I am accustomed to doing until I consciously make the effort to change my habit.  If I’m in the habit of waking up at 630AM, stretching, making some tea, reading a bit and having a blog posted by 8AM, I will do that every morning, no problem.  If I’m accustomed to being super tired all day and not knowing what to do besides pace from my bedroom to my kitchen trying to avoid eating something every 20 minutes, I will do that.  Every 20 minutes.

The same goes for my mental state.  If I’m feeling genuinely happy and motivated, my actions and thoughts will reflect that.  If I’m having a bad moment, there goes a good two weeks of my life being depressed, complaining about it and not doing anything to change it.

If I’m in the habit of going to the gym on a regular basis and making healthy choices nutritionally, it’s easy!  If I’ve let myself order a pizza (or four, as I did while I was home for my sister’s wedding-Donato’s Pizza-it’s like crack) or have a heap of ice cream (or four, as I did while I was home for my sister’s wedding-Jeni’s Ice Cream-it’s like crack) then suddenly that is my norm.  My habit is choosing food that’s bad for me even though it tastes like angels singing in my mouth.

I’m currently recovering from my trip.  I’ve been home a week now, and I’m still suffering the consequences.  I wasn’t disciplined at all with my diet, my workout, my liver or my work ethic.  Hell, I only wrote one post the whole two weeks I was there, but I did watch a lot of Bones!  Now, it was absolutely wonderful to spend time with my family and to eat boatloads of Columbus’ finest cuisine, but I see now that I used my vacation as an excuse to get off track and I am paying the price.  

Getting out of this sloth mode I’ve settled into has been an uphill battle, but I’m taking my steps.  In the week since I’ve been home, I’ve been to several classes, 2 successful job interviews, 1 successful meeting with an manager, and I’ve busted my butt at the gym to work off those pizzas.  Do I still spend time sitting around wandering what to do?  Yes, but that’s because I haven’t come up with a plan for myself.  That’s my next step!

I know with me, when I fall off the rails, I fall hard.  I’m learning that I really need to stay the course because my willpower sucks when I’m not getting things accomplished.  I’m paying attention to my triggers.  What are the things that really get me motivated?  What are the excuses I’m making to justify my restful habits?  What are the roadblocks to productivity I keep encountering? (Netflix.  The answer is Netflix.  We are all guilty.) 

The older I get, the more accountable I have to be for myself.  The only one who can take me from sloth mode to Yakuza slayer is me.  So I’ll start climbing back up that awesome hill.

…after this episode ends.

-Jadey Lady