Archives for posts with tag: positivity

Do you journal?  Do you do it in a sketchbook?  No?  Perhaps you should.  It really gives you so much freedom.  Can’t put what you’re feeling into words?  It’s okay!  Sketchbook Journal understands that sometimes you just feel colors and shapes.

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The other day, I was showing a friend of mine the joys of sketchbook journaling, so I let her browse through my journal from last year.  Now, I’m sitting there, terrified she’s going to think I’m this crazy, super negative person.  But strangely enough, the opposite happened.  She managed to pick up on only the uplifting things.  The quotes that inspired me.  The love notes written by my ex and my friends.  The positive encouragement I gave myself when I was mad at myself.  Then she pointed out that I had written out my goals a few times.  We went through them and realized that I have actually achieved a lot more than I thought.  Needless to say, I’ve been celebrating ever since!

Lady Lesson #29: Look At How Far You’ve Come! 

Looking back at this journal that basically chronicled the whole year of 2012 was an eye opening experience.  I remember, in detail, writing most of my entries.  I could tell you what was going on, how I was feeling, where I was sitting.   And let me tell you, I had my bursts of positivity and optimism, but I really only tended to write when I was discontent or creating alter-egos to cope with my discontent.  So I worried that this journal would paint a picture of an unbalanced, negative maniac.

But it took someone else to point out to me that I actually had a lot of positive energy bubbling beneath the surface.  I would start to beat myself up and mid rant, I’d switch and write all the little things I was happy about (going along with last night’s Jack Daniel’s infused entry).  I wrote “I’m happy the sun is shining” at least 10 random times throughout the journal.  I had many rants, but what stood out (I mean literally stood out because I would place them on pages by themselves, or write them in a bold color) were the positive nuggets of wisdom.  All of the negativity faded into the background and now, my journal has become a guidebook for my life.  I can easily see what I learned from my experiences and I can see how I laid the foundation for who I want to become.  I planted the seeds in 2012 and over a year later, after countless mistakes (many repeated a few times), I am starting to see the fruits of my vision.

For example, this was written February 25th, 2012:Image
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 haven’t looked at this until the other day but I have almost all of this!  
-Confidence and intelligence? Yes
-A puppy? Not technically mine, but I got to be baby Jack the pitbull’s mama
-Write something? I actually have a few scripts started
-New car? Well, no…but Sheldon’s got a new transmission.  That’s basically the same right?
-Dancing career? I did a dance show this summer where I got to choreograph and now I’m working on a show with Flamenco 
-Experience? Uh…f*ck yeah.  Jesus.  You can take some of it back.
-Physical Strength and Flexibility? I can do one and a half pull-ups!  And the splits!
-Fearlessness when singing? When I’m by myself, I’m at 95% fearlessness, on stage 67%.  Much higher than the 0% of yesteryear.
-New wardrobe and hair? Check and check
-To reach my full potential? I’m getting there
-A new approach to eating? Yeah!  I eat what I want and it makes me happy.  I’ll just do some squats or something.  Half a pull up. 
-Makeup skills? Ho buddy yes!  
-Willpower and focus? My new friends.  We drift apart sometimes, but we’re closer than ever
-Acting career? Well, I’m in a show I adore and I’ve got another show lined up in the new year.  I’ve got some good opportunities and projects ahead.  So yeah, I’m thinking yes.
-Grown up looking apartment? Yes!  Thank you Lauren and Melissa.  Once I get my grownup income I can pay you back, I promise!
-Stable income/finances? Everything is starting to come together! I’m a few months away from stable
-Positive outlook? You bet your sweet a**!
-Love? Abundant amounts.  Especially for myself.

I couldn’t appreciate how far I’ve come because I have been too caught up in how far I have left to go.  But look!  I’ve actually achieved a lot

So before you beat yourself up that you aren’t famous and rich yet, look at where you started and pat yourself on the back for getting as far as you have.  

Until next time!

-Jadey Lady

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The end.

Just kidding.  But seriously folks, this is one of the simplest life concepts to grasp.  Loving yourself is the first, if not the most important step towards happiness.  It is also the biggest hurdle to overcome.  Just ask me!  

Lady Lesson #25: Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

I am so, freaking mean to myself.  We all know how easily I beat myself up.  I am quick to judge, especially when I’ve made a mistake or failed.  I am very quick to chastise myself and make sure I’m good and punished, yet it’s like choking on nails to tell myself I’m beautiful, or smart.  

Somewhere along the way, I allowed my inner light to dim.  I thought humility was polite and courteous.  “Thank you for the compliment, but you’re mistaken.  Here’s this other problem I’ve invented to prove it to you.”  I got in the habit of putting myself down because I didn’t want to come off as cocky, or arrogant.  I wanted people to like me, so that of course meant staying as far away from arrogance as possible.  Over the years, I’ve grown quiet and diminutive.  I’ve started believing all of the bad things I say about myself.  And now, I hold myself back from many of my hopes and dreams because my confidence is buried beneath the years of “humility.”

In the last year especially, I’ve learned that that sh*t’s gotta stop.  Yesterday.  I live in Los Angeles.  I’m competing with everyone and I’m not even my biggest fan.  What kind of position does that put me in?  Last place from the get-go.  The odds are definitely not in my favor.

My friend had a birthday party and there was this guy who was just dancing his badonk off.  He was absolutely intoxicating to watch.  I tried to figure out what was so special about him and it was definitely his confidence, but equally important was the love he had for himself.  He got a kick out of watching himself in the mirror, he almost had a flirtatious quality, like “yeah, I see you.”  To himself! It was amazing.  Later, when I talked to him he said that he had spent hours in front of the mirror, working on dance moves and praising the things he liked.  He loved his hips and his stomach, so he would practice hip isolations, simply because he liked watching himself.  

I was always the girl in ballet class who avoided the mirror because I hated the way I looked.  I missed out on so many learning opportunities because I was unkind to myself.  I’ve started doing flamenco dancing for a show I’m in and I’ve approached it in a completely open and loving way.  After meeting the dancer, I realized that the only way the technique would look good on me was if I focused on what I loved about myself doing it.  It made a world of difference!  I wish I could convey the powerful feeling I got from just loving what I was doing.  It’s indescribable.

Confidence and self-appreciation is key.  How do you expect to reach any goals if you don’t believe you can do it?  And I mean, truly believe.  Truly, deeply, feel it in your bones, not-even-a-bad-morning-could-shake-you belief.  That’s the type of love that is most important in your life.  The love you have for you.

I woke up this morning and was prepared to  berate myself for all of the things I haven’t accomplished.  For the first time, I stopped myself.  I said “you are not getting out of this bed until you say something nice!”  So I did that.  I complimented myself.  I gave myself a hug.  I looked at uplifting quotes and images.  I even felt compelled to share with a friend.  I feel so much better than I have in recent months and it’s because I made it a priority to start the day off from a place of love and care.  I’ve only been awake for 90 minutes, but I already feel great.  I looked in the mirror and said “you’re beautiful” instead of picking apart my face or judging my body.  I am seeing the positives.  It’s a freaking miracle and I love it.

It’s not easy.  At least it isn’t for me.  I’ve gotten along for so long putting myself down that it feels like a complete lie when I say “I love myself.”  “I appreciate myself.”  “I am a worthwhile human being.”  The hardest part about loving myself is that nothing is getting in my way other than me and my mind.  It’s such a simple command, believe in yourself, but have you ever tried to change your way of thinking?  It’s tough.

But it’s necessary.  

When you stop beating yourself up, you stand a chance at becoming your best self and that is a person everyone can love.

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-Jadey Lady

Last night, I received a text from a friend who had a free ticket to the employee preview night at Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights.  He was working it so he couldn’t come with me, but another one of our friends was planning on coming, so I thought “awesome, I’ll have someone to go with and not be getting chased by clowns on my own.”  Well, it was time to leave and I had yet to hear from this friend.  Even though I had said yes, I started making up reasons not to go, just so I didn’t have to be alone.  Now, passing up a free trip to Universal Studios on a night where each ride had only a 10 minute wait? That’s dumb.  I decided to go, regardless of my potential solitude.

Lady Lesson #19: Say Yes and Mean It.

When I got to the park, my friend who was working got me free parking (ba-zing!).  He ran into another friend of his who worked it last year, but also had not heard from her friends who were supposed to be meeting her.  We had two hours to kill.  We didn’t know each other.  To make the best of a less than ideal situation, we had to become fast friends.  She and I ended up having a wonderful night.  Our mutual love of being scared by zombies transcended any awkwardness strangers might have.  

What would have happened if I had said yes, but ended up not going anyway?  Well, I don’t know.  But I guarantee you it would not have been nearly as fun as screaming my way through The Walking Dead prison.  It would not have made me laugh like the clown that tripped and fell when he tried to scare me.  It would not have gotten me a free chicken wrap and an ice cream sandwich!  Now, I’ve got a wonderful memory, made even better because I was out of my comfort zone and meeting new people.

Some of my favorite memories have been the times when I just said yes and actually followed through.  In college, I saw Yes, Man starring Jim Carrey.  We got out of the movie at like, 1 AM.  We were so amped up and motivated, we made a pact to just say yes for the rest of the night.  Wanna drive out to the “beach”? Yes!  Wanna play on this playground in the snow? Yes!  Wanna go to Waffle House???  YES!!!  So what if it was 430 AM before we got to sleep?  So what if I had to be up for dance class by 830? It was totally worth it for the amazing memory.

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So say yes!  I mean, if it’s life threatening or you have a 90% chance of losing a limb, I think you can opt out.  But say yes to anything that sounds fun, like a new adventure.  Say yes to new opportunities.  Say yes to new friends.  Say yes and mean it.  Your word is more important than you can imagine.  Now go off and adventure!

-Jadey Lady